if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
