btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
