i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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