census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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