ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
