It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
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I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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