Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
