are you so shy because you have an std?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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