that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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