Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
