My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i think i just lost a toe
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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