Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
