do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Randomize
