What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
