dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
