what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize