The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
