If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize