its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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