Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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