Old men and throwing up are my life now.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
