I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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