But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
