no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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