I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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