ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
