told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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