she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize