Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
