I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
