Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
