Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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