whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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