Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
