The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize