You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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