So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
