I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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