dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
