After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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