True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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