She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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