Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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