You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize