Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
