i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
