What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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