I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
