I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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