Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
