I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
