so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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