How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
