PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
