woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
