So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So vagazzling was a success
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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