guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
